effective birth control

i'm working as a live-in nanny this summer for a baby who is currently 7 weeks and 1 day old. the baby doubles as my nephew, and my bosses double as my sister and brother-in-law, something that is convenient for me. i think if it were a "real" job, sending the mother texts like "your baby is broken- scream button stuck" while she's at work would be frowned upon.

anyway, i've been thinking of posting about this job for a long time, but every time i sit down to do it, the baby freaks out, or the internet (which is wireless stolen from the neighbors) breaks, or it's after 9:30, which is pretty much when i pass out.
it's just as well, though, since my days currently consist of dodging projectile spit- up, warming up and testing the temperature of breast milk that is not from my breasts, and living in constant fear that i will loose the one binky that jackson actually likes. also, i have incorporated words like "binky" into my everyday vocabulary, which is, i think, a substantial transition in and of itself. one of the strangest things is that when i take him out in public people think he's my baby, what with him being strapped to my chest in his "snuggli" and all. the thing is, i look a lot younger than i am. (case in point: i was carded for an R-rated movie. at age 22. which means they thought i was 16 or younger. WHEN I WAS 22.) as a result, i get some funny looks when out with jack. that kind of curious, pitying, judging look reserved for unwed teenage mothers and people who dress to match their pets. because of that, i've taken to wearing my ring on my left ring finger, but turned upside down, so it looks like a wedding band and not a $15 ring from amercian eagle with a horse shoe on it. i also frequently consider screaming things like "YEAH, YOU WATCH YOURSELF!" or "IT HAPPENS MORE EASILY THAN YOU THINK!!" at teenage couples i see holding hands in the mall; they're the ones who give me the best looks, this combination of fear and "that will never be me" self-righteousness. sure it won't, sweetie.

anyway, so that's how my life is going right now. i'm lucky if i brush my teeth before 11 and shower before 2. my day centers around breastfeeding (uh, again, from a bottle, not my breast milk) and diaper changes. i get really excited about things like going to the post office (CONTACT WITH THE OUTSIDE WORLD!!!) and when i can make this 12 pound person burp.

it's mind-numbingly boring most of the time, with interjections of ear-splitting screams. i get really lonely, and really, really frustrated sometimes. but the thing is, a 7 week old can smile, and when he looks at me and smiles, i almost re-consider my plan to leave him on the front porch with a sign that says "free". of course, when he's screaming and refuses to be consoled, my plan becomes leaving him on someone ELSE'S porch with a $50 taped to his chest.

all in all, though, it's more than worth it, and i'll seriously miss him when i move out in september into a house with 12 adults and no binkies or snugglies. i doubt anyone there will cuddle with me while we watch er (from 10- 11 and, if we don't fall asleep, 11- 12) and not laugh when i cry at the sweet episodes of "the office". but they probably also won't make me wipe poop off thier asses, so maybe it's an even trade.